July 08, 2005

BLAS to Code RED

July 7, 2005, Alexandria, VA. The Drudge Report has reported the imminent retirement of Justice William "The Chief" Rehnquist from the SCOTUS.

As the level of liberal laments is already dangerously high, this event will no doubt cause them to spin out of control. SOTR readers and all blogosphere citizens are urged to follow appropriate BLAS Guidelines to avoid being sucked into their insanity.

As a reminder, Code Red/SCREECH indicates a severe risk of liberal wails and/or shrieks. During a Code Red BLAS advisory, citizens are encouraged to complete the following actions:

  • Complete all recommended actions at lower levels.
  • Listen to Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, Laura Ingraham or as a last resort, Joe Scarborough.
  • Stay tuned to conservative TV or radio for current illustrations of liberal craziness.
  • Be prepared for evacuation threats from elitist Hollywood types (in the event any conservative wins a national election).
  • Expect high taxes, bloated government spending and increased government regulations.
  • Contact your accountant to determine status of remaining bank funds, if any.
This advisory may be updated as conditions warrant.


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