July 05, 2005

Citizen Guidance for the Blogosphere Liberal Advisory System (BLAS)

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

SOTR Unveils Blogosphere Liberal Advisory System

Alexandria, VA, July 5, 2005. The SOTR Department of Blogland Insanity today unveiled it's new "Blogosphere Liberal Advisory System" (BLAS).

At a press conferences held in the ostentatious SOTR headquarters, co-founder Bonjo informed the media that the BLAS has been under development for some time. The system beta was launched on June 17, 2005 with an expected, official blogosphere-wide roll out scheduled for later in the month.

SOTR co-founder Cordeiro mused that the system should be easy to use by the masses, as it utilizes a similar pattern to the Homeland Security Advisory System deployed by the U.S. Department of Homeland Security.

During the beta test period the BLAS will be accessible via the SOTR homepage. Following successful completion of the beta test, the BLAS will be available for syndication.

Blogosphere citizens are encouraged to prepare themselves and their families by carefully following the guidance offered by the Department of Blogland Insanity.


























Risk Level Recommended Actions for Citizens
GREEN

"Grumble" - Ordinary risk of quibbling moderates



  • Develop a knowledge of the Constitution. Share it with family and friends, and practice debating Constitutional facts.

  • Visit www.SonsOfTheRepublic.com for ideas to combat liberalism.

  • Create an “Emergency Christmas/Hanukkah Celebration Kit” for your household.

  • Be informed. Visit www.DrudgeReport.com, or obtain a copy of “The Washington Times”

  • Know how to turn off televisions in your home.

  • Consider establishing your own conservative blog.


BLUE

"Bellyache" - General risk of liberal gripes



  • Complete recommended steps at level green.

  • Review the Constitution. Purge your memory of false "Living Constitution" ideas touted by the MSM.

  • Be alert to suspicious Congressional, judicial or journalistic activity and report it to the blogosphere.


YELLOW

"Yammer" - Significant risk of liberal moaning



  • Complete recommended steps at levels green and blue.

  • Ensure access to FoxNews channel is readily available.

  • Check telephone numbers of your Congressional representatives and update as necessary.

  • Develop alternate means of income should your current industry be regulated or taxed into oblivion.

  • Continue to be alert for suspicious Congressional and judicial activity and report it to the blogosphere.


ORANGE

"Whine" - High risk of liberal rants and laments



  • Complete recommended steps at lower levels.

  • Exercise caution when earning income, pay attention to marginal tax brackets.

  • Review your moral and/or family values and make sure all family members know what to do if accosted by a liberal.

  • Be patient. Expect long winded diatribes from left wingers, and gleeful summaries of their worn out liberal rhetoric anytime you tune in to network news.

  • Check on neighbors or others that might need assistance in discerning between truth and MSM fiction.


RED

"Screech" - Severe risk of liberal wails and/or shrieks



  • Complete all recommended actions at lower levels.

  • Listen to Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, Laura Ingraham or as a last resort, Joe Scarborough.

  • Stay tuned to conservative TV or radio for current illustrations of liberal craziness.

  • Be prepared for evacuation threats from elitist Hollywood types (in the event any conservative wins a national election).

  • Expect high taxes, bloated government spending and increased government regulations.

  • Contact your accountant to determine status of remaining bank funds, if any.


1 Comments:

At 8/01/2005 07:44:00 AM, Blogger Pam said...

This is awesome. I love it. Can't wait til it's syndicated.

 

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