Blogosphere Liberal Advisory System

BLAS Code Red: Senate Doors Closed at Request of Dusty Harry

2005-11-01T15:33:00.000-05:00

In response to today's closed door meeting of the U.S. Senate called by Senators Reid and Durbin, the SOTR Department of Blogland Insanity has temporarily raised the alert level to Code Red.

UPDATE: The SOTR Department of Blogland Insanity met behind closed doors late this evening and decided to lower the BLAS status to Code Yellow.

Lefty Whining Begins: BLAS to Yellow in Wake of Scalito

2005-10-31T15:43:00.000-05:00

BLAS Status Update Alexandria, VA. After lowering the BLAS to code blue for several weeks in the wake of extreme infighting among conservatives and republicans, the SOTR Department of Blogland Insanity has decided to raise the BLAS to code yellow. President Bush today announced his nomination of Samuel Alito to replace Justice "Sandy Baby" O'Connor. Despite the arrival of cooler weather associated with the autumn seasonal change, all citizens are instructed to brace themselves for a blast of "hot air" from the whining of the left.

SCOTUS Round II

2005-09-04T22:01:00.000-04:00

After immediately lowering flags to half staff at SOTR headquarters, the SOTR Department of Blogland Sanity announced that the BLAS alert level had been raised to Code Orange.

President George W. Bush is expected to quickly name another nominee to the high court, his second nominee in as many months. The SOTR sincerely hope and anticipate that President Bush's latest nominee will warrant sharp criticism from the left.

BLAS to "Code Orange"

2005-08-01T12:09:00.000-04:00

In response to W's recess appointment of John "The Moustache" Bolton as US Ambassador to the United Nations, the SOTR Department of Blogland Sanity has unilaterally raised the BLAS level to Orange/Whine.

Readers are advised this announcement comes just before 12:00 pm EDT. Reports of increased deliveries of scotch to the offices of Ted "Scotch" Kennedy cannot be readily confirmed.

BLAS Service Restored

2005-07-28T14:13:00.000-04:00

Due to a technical difficulty outside the SOTR corporate network (mainly, a primary electrical circuit being severed near SOTR headquarters) BLAS service was temporarily interrupted Wednesday and early Thursday. SOTR personnel worked through the night, temporarily interrupting one SOTR's vacation, to ensure the proper vendors restored service as soon as possible.

BLAS to Code Red (Screech)

2005-07-19T21:00:00.000-04:00

With the nomination of Judge John Roberts to the SCOTUS, the SOTR Department of Blogland Sanity has raised the BLAS to Code Red/Screech.

Citizens are urged to use care when listening or viewing liberals in general, and the Junior Senator from New York, Chuck Schumer specifically.

BLAS to "Code Orange" (Whine)

2005-07-19T11:45:00.000-04:00

Fox News is reporting W's SCOTUS pick could be announced as early as today. In anticipation of this announcement the SOTR Department of Blogland Sanity has unilaterally raised the BLAS to Code Orange/Whine.

Citizens are urged to view the MSM with increased suspicion as the sounds emanating from the liberals' collective mouth may cause damage to your sanity and well being.

BLAS to "Code Yellow" (Yammer)

2005-07-14T12:00:00.000-04:00

The SOTR Department of Blogland Sanity has unilaterally raised the BLAS level to Code Yellow (Yammer).

This action is taken after learning that Former Ambassador (to what country few have ever heard of), and thoroughly discredited Joe Wilson will hold a joint press conference with the Junior Senator from the State of New York, Chuck Schumer. Wilson chose to stand beside Schumer, as standing between Schumer and a microphone is a dangerous act.

Citizens are urged to follow BLAS guidelines during this increased time of noise pollution emanating from liberals.

BLAS to Code RED

2005-07-08T16:18:00.000-04:00

July 7, 2005, Alexandria, VA. The Drudge Report has reported the imminent retirement of Justice William "The Chief" Rehnquist from the SCOTUS.

As the level of liberal laments is already dangerously high, this event will no doubt cause them to spin out of control. SOTR readers and all blogosphere citizens are urged to follow appropriate BLAS Guidelines to avoid being sucked into their insanity.

As a reminder, Code Red/SCREECH indicates a severe risk of liberal wails and/or shrieks. During a Code Red BLAS advisory, citizens are encouraged to complete the following actions:

Complete all recommended actions at lower levels.
Listen to Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, Laura Ingraham or as a last resort, Joe Scarborough.
Stay tuned to conservative TV or radio for current illustrations of liberal craziness.
Be prepared for evacuation threats from elitist Hollywood types (in the event any conservative wins a national election).
Expect high taxes, bloated government spending and increased government regulations.
Contact your accountant to determine status of remaining bank funds, if any.

This advisory may be updated as conditions warrant.

BLAS raised to Orange

2005-07-08T12:33:00.000-04:00

In anticipation of an increase in liberal whining during the coming weekend, the SOTR Department of Blogland Sanity has, by a super-majority vote, raised the Blogosphere Liberal Alert System to Level Orange.

This action was taken upon learning Senator Chuck Schumer, the Junior Senator from the State of New York, would be appearing on NBC's Meet the Press with Tim Russert. People who are accidently exposed to this program should follow the BLAS suggestions detailed on this website.

The BLAS can and will be changed as circumstances warrant.

Citizen Guidance for the Blogosphere Liberal Advisory System (BLAS)

2005-07-05T11:39:00.000-04:00

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

SOTR Unveils Blogosphere Liberal Advisory System

Alexandria, VA, July 5, 2005. The SOTR Department of Blogland Insanity today unveiled it's new "Blogosphere Liberal Advisory System" (BLAS).

At a press conferences held in the ostentatious SOTR headquarters, co-founder Bonjo informed the media that the BLAS has been under development for some time. The system beta was launched on June 17, 2005 with an expected, official blogosphere-wide roll out scheduled for later in the month.

SOTR co-founder Cordeiro mused that the system should be easy to use by the masses, as it utilizes a similar pattern to the Homeland Security Advisory System deployed by the U.S. Department of Homeland Security.

During the beta test period the BLAS will be accessible via the SOTR homepage. Following successful completion of the beta test, the BLAS will be available for syndication.

Blogosphere citizens are encouraged to prepare themselves and their families by carefully following the guidance offered by the Department of Blogland Insanity.

Risk Level	Recommended Actions for Citizens
GREEN	"Grumble" - Ordinary risk of quibbling moderates Develop a knowledge of the Constitution. Share it with family and friends, and practice debating Constitutional facts. Visit www.SonsOfTheRepublic.com for ideas to combat liberalism. Create an “Emergency Christmas/Hanukkah Celebration Kit” for your household. Be informed. Visit www.DrudgeReport.com, or obtain a copy of “The Washington Times” Know how to turn off televisions in your home. Consider establishing your own conservative blog.
BLUE	"Bellyache" - General risk of liberal gripes Complete recommended steps at level green. Review the Constitution. Purge your memory of false "Living Constitution" ideas touted by the MSM. Be alert to suspicious Congressional, judicial or journalistic activity and report it to the blogosphere.
YELLOW	"Yammer" - Significant risk of liberal moaning Complete recommended steps at levels green and blue. Ensure access to FoxNews channel is readily available. Check telephone numbers of your Congressional representatives and update as necessary. Develop alternate means of income should your current industry be regulated or taxed into oblivion. Continue to be alert for suspicious Congressional and judicial activity and report it to the blogosphere.
ORANGE	"Whine" - High risk of liberal rants and laments Complete recommended steps at lower levels. Exercise caution when earning income, pay attention to marginal tax brackets. Review your moral and/or family values and make sure all family members know what to do if accosted by a liberal. Be patient. Expect long winded diatribes from left wingers, and gleeful summaries of their worn out liberal rhetoric anytime you tune in to network news. Check on neighbors or others that might need assistance in discerning between truth and MSM fiction.
RED	"Screech" - Severe risk of liberal wails and/or shrieks Complete all recommended actions at lower levels. Listen to Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, Laura Ingraham or as a last resort, Joe Scarborough. Stay tuned to conservative TV or radio for current illustrations of liberal craziness. Be prepared for evacuation threats from elitist Hollywood types (in the event any conservative wins a national election). Expect high taxes, bloated government spending and increased government regulations. Contact your accountant to determine status of remaining bank funds, if any.

Quarterly Test

2005-07-05T11:13:00.000-04:00

This is a test. This is a test of the SOTR Blogosphere Liberal Advisory System.

This is only a test.

Had this been an actual emergency, you would have heard the screams of Howard Dean, Hillary Clinton, Ted Kennedy, Barbara Boxer, and Harry Reid.

This concludes this test of the SOTR Blogosphere Liberal Advisory System.

BLAS Level Raised to "Code Red"

2005-07-02T13:04:00.000-04:00

July 2, 2005, Alexandria, VA. The SOTR Department of Blogland Sanity has raised the "Blogosphere Liberal Advisory" level to Code Red, in wake of the announced retirement of Supreme Court Justice Sandra Day O'Connor.

Liberal forces have already mobilized, including an "emergency" March on the state capitol of Tennesee by 800 angry feminists, who were attending an annual convention for the National Association of Gals when the high court vacancy was announced.

During this period of severe risk of liberal wails and shrieks, Americans are urged to review the Constitution and stay tuned to conservative media outlets for further updates and illustrations of liberal craziness. Citizens should also be prepared for evacuation threats from elitist Hollywood types.

The SOTR Blogosphere Liberal Advisory System (BLAS) is currently in beta testing. The system developers did not anticipate the need for a sudden code red emergency, but have been pleased with system performance thus far. An official launch of the BLAS is expected within days, possibly coinciding with the SOTR one year anniversary celebration, according to SOTR sources. Those interested in syndicating the BLAS alerts on their own blogs should contact SOTR HQ.

This report may be updated as conditions warrant.